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September 21, 2005
The Big 15, maybe
Dear Diary
I think this is the 15th entry I have made in you, but I haven’t bothered to count them all up to be sure. I guess 15 isn’t really a special occasion anyway, so why should I bother, or EVEN MENTION IT?
Stupid diary.
Today I have been working, and I also did a load of washing, and a couple of people called. I went to the video store to get out weekly DVDs for a dollar (it’s a Wednesday special), and was amazed once more about how tempted I am to hire out trashy movies which I didn’t even like the first time.
So it wasn’t a very exciting day. And I never promised that it was, did I, DIARY?
I had a memory the other day which I wanted to write in you. What was it? Ah yes.
It was late at night, I was 18, I was coming home from Norton’s, then called the Imperial, along Parramatta Rd looking for a taxi. I probably thought I’d had something to drink, which in actual fact was likely to be three midori and lemonades over the course of four hours. I was a pretty crap drinker back in those days. Not like now! Oh no, not like now, thank goodness. Anyway, I walked past this weird gaming room that was open late, outside of which was this big young dodgy looking guy who seemed to be having trouble with the ATM. He turned to look at me as I passed. In his eyes I saw an unmistakable glint of
Ah hell I can’t be bothered writing this story out now.
For my future self, the points of the story I wanted to remember are: fistful of dollars, burn victim gang member, weird hand shake, party question.
And now
Get stuffed diary, I’m tired, and I have movies.
Posted by Sam Bowring at 10:38 PM | Comments (0)
September 13, 2005
Inside Mashed Potato
Sometimes it amuses me to think about all the places God must be, if he really is everywhere. He is in:
- the centre of every donut
- my arse
- God is in a kangaroo’s pouch
- God has been filmed in every single episode of Star Trek
- he has heard every fart
- he has heard every single joke thousands of times
- God is in the nose of every horse
- he is in your balls
- he is in a boring bit of air some 1000m above sea level at 40:26 N and 3:42 W where nothing has ever happened, ever
- every time a shop person says ‘can I help you?’ God is in their kidneys
- God has seen every time a tape gets jammed in a VCR at a microscopic level
- he is in the bubble of air in your pen that stops ink coming out
- he was in JFK’s bullet wounds
- etc
He lets you have no privacy, not a minute, not in your heart and mind, not a thought to yourself.
Though I wonder, if God is everywhere, does that mean his actual awareness is everywhere, or are we just talking an actual presence of some ‘body part’ of God, as if he is lying over everything like a big fat walrus?
Cause if he really does have to be aware of every last little thing that happens, anytime, everywhere, then it’s no wonder that he’s insane.
I have enough trouble getting down to the shops to buy milk.
‘Can I help you?’ the shop person says.
‘Not generally,’ I reply. ‘But perhaps with my milk issue. Hey, nice kidneys.’
La la la.
Peace be with you, God.
Posted by Sam Bowring at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)