December 11, 2005
Monthly Book Review
“Drivers must keep calm under all circumstances. If someone affects you with bad driving, do not display symptoms of ‘trolley rage’. These include shouting abuse, violent gestures, or hurling the little bowls of chilli sauce.”
Excerpt from:
The Yum Cha Trolley
Official Driving Manual
I have been reading this book, hence my imminent review. I didn’t buy the thing obviously, I have no reason to earn the L plate required to drive a yum cha trolley. I did however have some yum cha today, and when I got home I discovered that Squeakfeather had thievishly sampled a bunch of things from ‘behind the scenes’ of the restaurant, as he likes to do, and stored them in my bag. This is one of the ways Squeakfeather learns about a place. He can’t read though, so he has taken very little interest in the book. Currently he is over the other side of the room nudging around half a lobster.
Anyway, this isn’t a history lesson, let’s get on with the review.
This yum cha trolley driving book is educational, and would be very useful to anyone thinking of getting into the profession of yum cha trolley driving. Here are some quotes from the pages within:
YOU MUST NOT DRIVE if the green tea levels in your blood measure more than 0.5 – that is dangerously relaxed. It is also imperative that you are up to date with your green tea slip.
Never talk on your mobile phone whilst driving a trolley. If you have to take the call, pull over, but be brief – chicken’s feet don’t walk themselves into people’s mouthes, do they?
If you’re passing a table with children underneath it, do not exceed 40km/hr.
All trolley drivers should be able to execute a three point turn whilst also executing a live squid.
Always check your blind spots in case you’ve passed customers without offering them pork buns.
I give this book two stars:
* *
See?
I only gave it two because it has such narrow subject matter. A bit more humour and plot, maybe some recurring characters, might have broadened appeal to make it suitable to a wider audience. The writer is very knowledgeable about his/her subject, but lacks flair. He/she needs to exhibit more personality with his/her words. Sentences like:
“Attach C screw 3/12ths with 2 * bolts for suspension increase 35% (if G is absent)”
just do not grab me, and I think the average reader will feel the same.
Who knows? Maybe give it a try, and see for yourself.
Nonexistent Person: Who are you referring too Sam? No one would be so rude as to break into your personal diary and read it. In fact, reviewing something in a diary which no one knows about makes no sense.
You’re right! What am I doing?
Ah well, maybe I’ll submit the review to a magazine. I hear they pay good money for shit like this.
Squeakfeather is now wearing the lobster’s head like a hat, and it’s quite disturbing.
Posted by Sam Bowring at December 11, 2005 11:46 PM