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August 22, 2006
Street Royalty
There are a row of sensor lights in front of the houses opposite my balcony.
His Majesty Mr Tabbins emerges from an alley and walks up the footpath.
His path is illuminated by a rolling cascade of light.
‘This way Mr Tabbins! Let us shower your way with luminance. Let you not sully your footsteps with shadow! Praise be to Mr Tabbins, that he may never tread in darkness. Unfurl the carpet of light.’
Ah, and look - someone has left out a bowl for Mr Tabbins!
He stops for the feast, private to himself and the small flying things attracted to the sensors set off by the motion of his happy tail swishing back and forth.
Ah Mr Tabbins. May well you walk proud, and so tall.
Posted by Sam Bowring at 11:52 PM | Comments (0)
August 11, 2006
It Will Go On Without You
I have a cold. Or the flu. Whatever it is.
I hate the way people are expected to ‘soldier on’ when they have coldflu. Take some suppressants and go to work, touch keyboards and doorknobs, shake hands and ride the bus and slap arses (if you’re a doctor).
STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.
I have a plan/theory:
If the very first person to get a cold at the beginning of Cold Season, INSTEAD of going to work or school or whatever, IF THEY WERE MADE TO STAY QUARANTINED IN A BOX OR A DARK ROOM OR SOMETHING, then we could stop the fucken thing in its microscopic tracks before it even got started AND THEN I WOULDN’T HAVE THIS FUCKING COLD RIGHT NOW.
Alternatively, we could shoot the person. It’s completely unjust, but it would save countless hours of productivity, and that seems to be the main thing - that’s WHY the streets and buses are filled with wandering plague carriers who daren’t miss a minute in their busy schedules. The cogs keep grinding, the world halts for no man, and we must be like pacman munching down on time’s arrow and all this kind of thing.
STAY AT HOME YOU FUCKS.
Take some fucking responsibility and keep yourself removed. I know I certainly don’t balk at the chance to fuck off the world for a few days.
Say it with me now:
‘Sorry, can’t do it, I’m sick.’
It is NOT an excuse. It’s a REASON.
Luckily Squeakfeather doesn’t seem to catch these human bugs, and has been bringing me news of the outside. I know not everyone has this luxury, but a second option would always be the internet.
Posted by Sam Bowring at 02:43 PM | Comments (0)