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January 04, 2007
Dear Tent City
Last week I went camping in a tent purchased from your shop, which went just fine until I had to work out how to get it back into its impossibly small tent bag.
No where on the packaging did it read: ‘Warning: Do Not Attempt Repacking This Tent Without a Degree in Quantum Physics.’ Perhaps if it had been labeled thus, I would have known to spend the requisite 5 – 10 years at university before making my purchase.
That said, I do happen to know that black holes are caused by densely compacted matter, which caused me worry as I attempted to repack this tent – worry that I might create a black hole, suck up the BBQ and all of the parrots, not to mention planet earth. It felt like I was chasing an event horizon with the zip, you’d sooner stuff a tent into a condom ... you don’t seem to have included the necessary fire truck required to run over this stuff and flatten it to a feasible size! All because some freak in tent design is frightened of anything he could potentially get his head stuck in.
You see a bag is allowed to fit things in it, that’s part of ‘the magic of bags’. Maybe a tiny tent bag is necessary if you’re in the army or something, but I’m going to Jervis Bay in a Kia to smoke joints for a week! I don’t pack my pot under my thumbnail, do I?
Get with the fucking program.
Yours sincerely,
Sam Bowring
Posted by Sam Bowring at January 4, 2007 04:50 PM