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July 14, 2007
Third Leg Claimed to be Cause of Speeding
A new RTA road safety campaign implies that male drivers who speed have a small penis. The ads shows observers of speeding males wiggling their little fingers, to signify the driver is in possession of a puny pants package.
The reasoning, I suppose, is to make speeders feel like losers. My question is, how does this campaign affect guys who actually DO have Allen’s sized trouser snakes? As if they don’t have enough problems without a massive ad campaign basically saying ‘Look at you - you’re as bad as criminals!’
I was under the impression our society considered it reprehensible to vilify people based on a physical characteristic. You couldn’t, for example, make an advertisement that goes ‘Drink Drive and You’re a Fatty Boomba.’
How about a Centrelink ad like this:
Girl 1: Did you hear about Annie? She’s been claiming centrelink payments without actively looking for work.
Girl 2: God, she’s as bad as a paraplegic!
I don’t imagine scripts like that would get onto television, yet for guys with minute manhoods, the gloves are off. Let’s put those gloves back on - any extra bit of thickness helps.
RTA director John Whelan said the adverts aim to make speeding look socially unacceptable. Follow his logic and he may as well say he thinks having a mini meat-sock is socially unacceptable! What’s this guy’s problem? Were his parents murdered by a dude with a small cock? Was he beaten up by little dicks at school? Whip whip whip oh that stings ...
Will this method of discovering criminality take off across the board? Will suspects in police lineups have to drop their pants? ‘Yes officer, that’s the man who stole my handbag – I can tell, because he’s got such a petite prick. Definitely a crim!’
Incidentally, I’ve always wondered if this generalisation works both ways. Like, if a guy drives a very modest car and always stays ten kms under the speed limit, does this mean he wields a massive schlong? Has he got to wear ribbed condoms all the time to support the extra heart he’s got beating down there to get enough blood to his cathedral cock?
In case anyone’s wondering, I catch the bus. I don’t even own a car. Ladies?
In the meantime, small dicked men suffer in silence, unprotected by society’s sheltering arm. What can they even do about it? March in protest?
Somehow I don’t think many dudes would show up.
*Originally published on www.rovedaily.com*
Posted by Sam Bowring at July 14, 2007 05:05 PM